Christmas is coming, the Bells are ringing, and UEA can't stop winning

A thoroughly good day saw some positive results just before Christmas as all 3 sides played well.

The 2's comfortably won 6-1 with some help from Homecare's goalkeeper, Tom Thornton scoring the only good goal with his 18 yard smash passed the keeper after a sweet pass from Yeomans. Chris Gunn picked up four assists, one which he layed to Gaskell who placed into the net from 5 yards, 2 with which the keeper fumbled only for Gaskell and Beasley to both score, and one which hit the defender, and somehow went threw the keepers' gloves. There were even comments from the Homecare strikeforce that someone must have put fairy liquid on his gloves. Dave Yeomans made it six as the keeper fumbled Gaskell's poor cross on which Lincoln pounced upon but only to have the rebound snatched from him by Yeomans, you cant blame a striker for his nature though, you thieving bastard Yeomans. Dave Burnham made a statement with only his 3rd appearance for the 2's with a man of the match performance in centre midfield.

The 3rd's were unfortunately held to a 0-0 draw at home to Jarrolds. Probably the only nil nill draw we'll ever see this term. With stand in captain Pete Bellamy replacing the abscent Butler (at a Pogues gig) he did well to ensure they did not concede, Alex Pope proved that with his man of the match performance along side Pete Bellamy at centre back.

An away game to an oddly named Sissonki side proved to be an easy one for the 4th's. Captain Ceroni picked up his 3rd hattrick of the season and first 10 point bonus as he scored twice directly from corners. Adam Hibbert got his first goal since playing under the Italian as his demon cross went over the keeper and into the net. Dave Foulis picked up his 9th and 10th goals of the season, while Darryl Wyatt, Poalo, Foulis and Blackmore picked up the assists. Darryl Wyatt picked up the star man award, his first of the season, nice to see the freshers doing well.

Sammy G has continued to keep his lead at the top of the Dream Team League, even though skiing was more important than playing this Saturday.

Please email me or msn me on nickgasuk@hotmail.com if you would like to change your team name.

UEA Fantasy Dream Team League:

Team Owner	Team Name	Points
Sam Gilliland	Sam Gilliland	1054
Paolo Ceroni	Windmill Wanderers	1025
Pete Bellamy	Pete Bellamy	1013
James Havers	No I in team	997
David Foulis	I want to be on you	991
Robin Caley	Snoop's Doggs	980
Marcus Jones	Schizzle	978
Matt Beasley	Beasley's Biatchs	951
Liam Martin	The House Martins	928
Tom Lenihan	Tom Lenihan	920
Jeremy Pitblado	Borny United	899
Grant O'Donnell	Mean Machine	896
Chris Morris	Mozzies Monsters	860
John Richardson	Cockjuggling
	Thundercunts	828
Darryl Wyatt	Wyatts Wanderers	823
Dave Yeomans	Yeomans UEA Yids	819
Tom Thornton	Meaty Malcolm
	and M Unit	818
Dan Robinson	Magnus: A player
	for every inche	796
Nick Gaskell	Woolie Woofters	783
Jason Lincoln	Team Jason	781
Josh Hull	Hullys Whores	769
Gavin Butler	Team Butler	748
Chris Gunn and	Ginger Ninjas
David Burnham		734
Nick Young	Young's Gunners	729
Duncan White	Whiteboys	720
Chris Macdonald	Maccadonas	596

Here are all of your individual points and other important information for you to look at as requested:

Player Name	Played	Clean Sheets	Assists	Goals	MOM's	Points
Alex Potimidies	9	2				24
David Mahoney	11	3		2	1	65
Paul Andrews	8	3				31
Grant O'donnel	5	3		1		28
Tom Denney	15	4			3	66
Ahmet Ayar	9	2	2			32
Josh Hull	9	3				31
Akin	2					2
Adam Hibbert	17			2	2	43
David Burnham	14		1	1	1	49
Matt Jepson	13				4	56
John Piper	15		2	3		43
Kahlil	1					0
Dennis Bevienis	9			1		25
Scott Holiday	18		4	6	1	57
Mike	3			3		15
Duncan Mchardy	5			2		13
Nik Young	9			8	2	54
Duncan White	11		5	3		47
Tom Lenihan	19	8			2	86
Marcus Jones	20	9	4	1	1	94
James Havers	20	13	2	2	2	100
Jason Lincoln	18	8	3	3		110
Simon Grove-White	8	4	1	1	1	10
Chris Macdonald	15	7	3	1	1	83
Tom Thornton	22		9	15		143
John Richardson	17		6	5	1	72
Matt Beasley	21	7	3	4	3	81
Chris Gunn	16		13	4		66
Liam Martin	16	1	9	4	2	109
Nick Gaskell	22	1GK	13	21	1	171
David Yeomans	20		6	20	2	169
Dan Humphries	15	7				106
Sam Gilliland	17	9		6	1	125
Gavin Butler	12	5		3		60
Stuart Mare	1	1				0
Adam Aisthorpe	7	1	1			37
James Freeman	10	4				44
Alex Pope	4	2		1	1	45
James Goulds	11	4	2	2		52
Pete Bellamy	15	1	7	3	1	75
Craig Boyle Smith	10	1	3	2		42
Alex Smith	11	1	6	3	3	70
Jahan Rezai-Jorabi	8	1		1		31
Joe Barker	3					12
Dan Robinson	13		2	2		29
Richard Taku	5			1		20
Jeremy Pitlabo	12	1GK	8	7		57
Chris Morris	12		6	16	1	78
Matt Rowley	2					2
Liam Parker	3					5
Robin Caley	11	2	1	1		42
Steve Cronin	3					0
Steve Harwood	6	2	1		1	47
Dan Fitzgearald	2	2				20
Tom Eede	9	3	1		1	47
Daniel Towse	6	2			1	39
Shaun Hately	2		1	1		12
Daryl Wyatt	8		3	1	1	41
Cathel Lowry	2					0
Chris Scott	4			2		7
Johnny Tucker	7		3		2	36
Ben Steele	1					0
David Foulis	11		10	10	1	88
Andy Blackmore	7		3			32
Andrew Deaville	2					0
Paolo Ceroni	13		8	18		90
Matt Mcglinchey	1	1				12

Enjoy the Christmas and New Year everybody, make sure you get vitally battered. Try keep fit somehow, i know i will!!! NOT!!!

Gaskell
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Earlham punish Ceroni's boys, as the 2nds and 3rds win comfortably

UEA 2's kept another clean sheet this season as they saw off a weak Drayton side 4-0, in a game which didn't see any goals until around the half hour mark due to a hatful of misses, namely by myself Nick Gaskell. A sweet through ball from man of the match Matt Jepson saw Tom Thornton finish nicely by nutmegging the Drayton keeper. The second half saw Tom Thornton lay the ball inside to Yeomans who placed it into the empty net, only to be kicked by the Drayton keeper.(the psycho cunt) Might I add the referee had a word with him, no card shown, yet later on booked Jepson and Draytons midfielder for mere handbags - If that. Yeomans got his second of the game after Gaskell squared it to him, and Thornton got his 2nd of the game, poking it passed the keeper from a lovely dink in from Jason Lincoln. Between the three of them, Gaskell, Yeomans and Thornton have put away an impressive 52 goals this season, 19 each for the two front men and 14 for Thornton.

The 3rds continued their good form this season by beating Drayton reserves 5 - 1 who proved to be just as weak as their first team. The 2nds have drawn 1 lost 1 and won the rest of their games this season as assists came from Adam Aisthorpe(Eh Up), Alex Smith 2, Jeremy Pitlabo and Jonny Tucker. The goals came from Jeremy Pitlabo, Pete Bellamy, Dave Burnham and 2 from Sammy Gilliland. Alex Smith picked up the man of the match award for his great work in midfield, although unfortunately clean sheet bonuses were lost.

Also to add a small corection from last week, it was not new boy Alex Pope who scored it was actually gay boy Alex Smith. Apologies for the mistake and thanks for pointing it out Gav.


The fourth team drew the short straw in their first round of the Shoe Traders Cup against the team top of the league, in Division 1, not their own. The 4ths put up a good battle but some good solo players and general hate of students kept UEA at bay, even though they were unfairly ruled out a goal from Dave Foulis, which would have made it 1-0. Final score Earlham 3-0 UEA.

All in all a good week for Sammy Gilliland as he rises to the top of the UEA Fantasy Dream Team League with only one weeks football left before the new year. In no particular order here are the teams with over 850 points( most likely to win it).

Sam Gilliland	Sam Gilliland	960
Paolo Ceroni	Windmill Wanderers	914
David Foulis	I want to be on you	900
Robin Caley	Snoop's Doggs	896
Marcus Jones	Schizzle	926
James Havers	No I in team	898
Matt Beasley	Beasley's Biatchs	859
Liam Martin	The House Martins	874

Dave Yeomans takes over as the highest scoring player from Nick Gaskell by one point as we see the top 5 scoring players.

Dave Yeomans	157
Nick Gaskell	156
Tom Thornton	133
Sam Gilliland	125
Liam Martin	104

Well done everyone this week, see you at training.

Gaskell

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UEA dominate as the BUSA Christmas break kicks in

UEA Mens 1st team bounced back from last weeks loss to beat Staffordshire University. Arriving 20 minutes late because the bus driver was a cunt, the team wasn't sure if they had the right venue, the pitch was so shit. The ref was just getting into his car and when asked if they could still play he said yes but only 30 minutes each way. Staffordshire wanted to play too as they are already relegated so they kicked off half an hour late. Scott Holiday set up one of Nick Youngs two goals, and Dave Mahoney got himself his 2nd of the season. Staffordshire did manage to score, unmarked in the box their striker headed home. Final score 3-1 to UEA so unfortunately no clean sheet bonus. Nick Young picked up the Man of the Match award giving him 25 points for the day.

BUSA 2A MIDLANDS LEAGUE

TEAM	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
Loughborough University Men's 2nd	8	5	3	0	22	3	19	18
Oxford University Men's 1st	8	5	2	1	16	7	9	17
Oxford Brooks University Men's 1st	7	4	0	3	17	11	6	*15
University of East Anglia Men's 1st	7	3	1	3	8	13	-5	10
University of Nottingham Men's 2nd	8	1	2	5	8	17	-9	5
Staffordshire University Men's 2nd	6	0	0	6	5	25	-20	*-3

A star* indicates a walkover because a team didn't turn up, in which case they also get 3 points deducted.
The top two teams enter the cup which means UEA wil have to wait till next season to challenge for honurs, they will continue to be in this league.

UEA 2nd XI continued their winning form with a 6-0 thrashing of Leicester De Montford 2nds in a crunch 2nd place versus 3rd match. David Yeomans opened up the scoring in the 20th minute, a massive clearance from Matt Beasley was gambled upon by Yeomans who chested down beautifully and lobbed the keeper. 10 minutes later Chris Gunn earned a free kick out on the left and Jimmy Havers met his cross unmarked in the box with a thumping header to make it 2-0. At the break UEA noted the importance of getting the next goal as it was at their ground where Leicester were 2-0 up and UEA brought it back to 2-2. This was not the case however, only a minute after the restart Jimmy Havers made a crunching tackle and dinked the ball over the top to Yeomans who cooled put away his second passed the keeper.
Only two minute later Liam Martin won the ball and layed a sweet through ball to Nick Gaskell who knocked it passed the keeper 1 on 1 to make it 4-0. The fifth came from a Marcus Jones throw in, Gaskell was in acres of space as he met the throw in and lobbed the ball over the defender only for Yeomans to control nicely and put the ball into the top corner. That his hattrick earned him the star man award for the 2's. The day wasn't over yet though substitute Chris Macdonald tapped on from 8 yards from a nicely worked move ending a a typically sweet left footed cross from Chris Gunn, Macca's first of the season.
With Coventry University's result from yesterday still pending, either way it is looking likely that UEA need to beat Coventry at home in week 3 next semester in order to win the league, providing they can beat Bedford 4ths in their last game of the season.

BUSA 4D MIDLANDS LEAGUE

TEAM	P	W	D	L	F	A	Diff	Pts
University of East Anglia Men's 2nd	8	6	1	1	34	9	25	19
Coventry University Men's 2nd	7	6	0	1	22	9	13	18
DeMontford University Men's 2nd	8	4	1	3	14	17	-3	13
University of Bedforshire Men's 3rd	7	3	1	3	10	8	2	10
University of Bedforshire Men's 4th	8	2	1	5	11	21	-10	7
University college Northampton Men's 4th	8	0	0	8	17	34	-27	0

Top scoring players in Dream Team:

Name	Points
Nick Gaskell	154
Dave Yeomans	142
Tom Thornton	116
Sam Gilliland	110
Liam Martin	102
Jason Lincoln	91
James Havers	90
Dan Humphries	89
Marcus Jones	89
Chris Morris	76

Good luck this weekend everybody

XXXX

A good day for Ceroni and Butler as the the first teams' dream of Carrow Road ends

An unfortunate day for the first team as they exited the 4th round of the Junior Cup against a decent Acles United. Captain Matt Jepson led his side superbly but unfortunately it wasn't enough as the oppostion proved too much and put their chances away. After going behind in the first half, 10 seconds after the restart Nick Gaskell latched onto a John Piper pass and made it 1-1. Unfortunately after dominating the game UEA conceded with 20 minutes left as a cross came in and the striker poked in from 5 yards. As time ran out UEA went 3 at the back to try and equalise which unfortunatley led to Acles killing off the game with only a minute left, final score, Acles United 3 - 1 UEA. Dave Mahoney picked up the 10 bonus points for his star man performance, John Piper coming in a close second place.

Gavin Butlers side bounced back in the league with a 3-0 away win to Wensum Albion. No assists for the goals have been recorded yet but the goals came from Jason Lincoln, Sam Gilliland and new boy Alex Pope. Jonny Tucker picked up the star man award, extremely impressive considering only two weeks ago he was playing for the fourth team.


Team pld won drn lost for against points goal diff

Marlborough OB	9	8	0	1	38	10	24	28
Costessey Crown	10	6	2	2	33	32	20	1
UEA Reserves	8	6	1	1	34	7	19	27
Jarrolds	11	4	3	4	22	19	15	3
Wensum Albion	9	4	2	3	29	12	14	17
Mousehold FC	9	4	2	3	31	21	14	10
Loddon A	10	4	2	4	23	30	14	-7
Blofield Utd. A	8	2	1	5	11	23	7	-12
Thorpe Village A	11	1	2	8	7	39	5	-32
Drayton Reserves	9	0	1	8	6	41	1	-35

As we can see in the league UEA reserves are 4 points off the top with a game in hand, and a far superior goal difference(excluding top team), only conceding 7 goals. They will need to defeat Marlborough Old Boys in their next encounter.

After a dissapointing result last week Paolo Ceroni's 4th team came up trumps against South Walsham who were 4th in the league. Some tactical changes helped them to a scorching 7-0 victory. Again clean sheet bonuses all around while Dave Yeomans picked up his first man of the match award this season along with one of the goals. Others were scored by Paolo and Dave Foulis who both got two each and Darryl Wyatt and Steve Harwood picked up their first UEA goals aswell. Assist came from Foulis who got 2, Chris Macdonald who also got two and Liam Martin and Darryl Wyatt getting one each.

Team pld won drn lost for against points goal diff

Newton Flotman Res	9	6	3	0	33	13	21	20
Salhouse FC	10	6	1	3	29	15	19	14
UEA A	8	5	2	1	32	10	17	22
Norwich Union B	11	3	4	4	27	30	13	-3
Mousehold Ath Res	8	3	1	4	17	20	10	-3
Sth Walsham	9	3	1	5	19	26	10	-7
Lingwood Caveners	9	3	1	5	25	40	10	-15
Hoverton Wherrymen	6	3	0	3	17	17	9	0
A Novo Athletic	7	2	2	3	24	34	8	-10
Sisonke	6	2	0	4	20	24	6	-4
Elm Tavern FC	9	1	3	5	21	35	6	-14

The fourths are also 4 points off the top with a game in hand and a similar goal difference to the top team. Things could be tough however for them as they have played the top two teams at home and drawn both times, therefore they might have some tough away games to come. Not to mention their home match in the Shoe Traders Cup this Saturday, a big game against Earlham; a team not as good as they used to be, but will be an extremely tough cookie to crack, oh and they are top of the league aswell.

Here is the 2's league for those who wish to see it, very interesting considering they have only played 6 games and are second.

Team pld won drn lost for against points goal diff

Earlham	11	7	0	4	39	24	21	15
UEA FC	6	6	0	0	26	6	18	20
Homecare Utd.	10	5	2	3	31	27	17	4
St. Johns A	10	4	2	4	29	23	14	6
Norwich Union A	11	4	2	5	27	24	14	3
Canary FC	7	4	1	2	21	19	13	2
Yelverton	8	4	1	3	16	18	13	-2
Drayton FC	10	4	1	5	26	30	13	-4
Taverham	9	3	1	5	18	35	10	-17
Dyers Arms FC	12	0	2	10	12	39	2	-27

Due to the fact that the company who runs this website put our site on hold for ages cos they thought it was spam or some shit i havn't done the league. It will be done on Sunday night. PROMISE.

Love and peace to all

Gaskell

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